I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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