ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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