wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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