We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
