last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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