at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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