is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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