are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
