i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
