Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
