I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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