she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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