I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
