Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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