I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Randomize
