im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
