didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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