The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
as a side note pls kill me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
