boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
soo... how was my night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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