I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm way too hungover for life right now
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
