He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
