Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
