im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
