i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
