I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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