I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
