She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize