I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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