I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
