maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
