i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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