escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
