That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
