It's just like the Real World with babies
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
