This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
