Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
