Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Houston, we have a squirter
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
