He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
