Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
