ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
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His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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