if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm bleeding and have questions
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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