ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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