I have demons in me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
