I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize