I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize