ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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