Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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