I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
