Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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