im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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