omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
