What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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