i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
