He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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