You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
