Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
you never un-have a 4some
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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