Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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