she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
