never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
