I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My breasts were aching with rage.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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