Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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