i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
