Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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