Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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