i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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