I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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